link for Mom

Oh those quizzes

Here's another completely unscientific quiz. Although, it's actually not too far off. :-) I wonder if it's just more general than I think it is and every answer would sort of fit me? (Kinda like the horoscopes.)

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Still...there is

Joy and Happiness

I've been thinking a lot lately about happiness and joy. I know that there is a difference and, intellectually, I can talk about "happiness is circumstantial and joy is based on the eternal." I know all this. But right now, I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy. I'm sure there have been moments in the past year, but I can't remember them. I have been two breaths away from crying for months. It's getting old. There have been a lot of fun times and some laughter, but they were in reaction to something funny. -- So maybe what I really mean to say is that I've been happy, but I can't remember the last time I was joyful.

I wish that the joy that I know is real would be part of my heart and my life in a more concrete way. There is hope and heaven is waiting. I know that. I guess it's just hard to get promises to move from my head to my heart. It seems like the joyful lives in my head and the sad lives in my heart.

I was talking to a friend a while ago about what we hope for. We talked about the need to have something to anticipate. I'm seeing the reality of this right now. For several months I was looking forward to two things - my roses blooming and the end of school. Yep. That's it. I know that it seems a little sad and empty, but it's the truth. Well, it's June and school is over and my roses are blooming. (They are beautiful, by the way. Thank you, Jesus.) My sister is coming to visit and I can't wait for that. That's my next thing. Maybe I just need to have one thing at a time. Sometimes I pause and think that heaven seems to be the next good thing. I know it's not, but it seems that way. Those are the not-so-good days.

I don't want to always be looking toward tomorrow. I'm sure there are many, many things to find joy in today. The reality of my life right now is that I just can't see them. It seems like there is the smokey blue curtain that just covers everything. It only takes a thought and I'm crying again. I hate that. (Esp. when I do it in public. I'm really tired of crying in front of random people. Good friends, okay -- but my boss at work, not so much!)

I feel a little weird spewing all this onto the net, but it's easier for me to think if I'm talking or writing. It helps to have someone to listen. So, in the words of Jane Eyre, "Thank you, Dear Reader." The truth is, I'm not really walking around in a rain of depression. Maybe it's more like a slight drizzle.

There is a book title that has been running through my head lately. The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. It's not so much the contents of book that I have been thinking of -- just the title. What does it look like in my life to truly know the presence of God always? Am I still sad? I think so. God being with me does not change the circumstances of my life. But His presence certainly brings joy. The real kind, not the circumstantial kind. What will it mean for God to bind my broken heart?

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Christmas trailers already

The Holiday - Okay, this one has potential. I wonder - is there a girl with a flat in a charming part of London that would trade houses with me for a few weeks? And if so, would a Jude Law type guy be in the picture? :-) :-) :-) Also, I think I'm going to like Jack Black in this one. He's a very hit or miss actor for me, but this might be a hit.

X-Men: The Last Stand

I'm going to talk about X-Men 3, so if you haven't seen it -- this will spoil it for you. Go away and come back later. :-)

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I thought it was. . .okay. It was a good movie, enjoyable to watch and an entertaining afternoon. I did not have the "this movie is complete crap" response that many, many fans had. That said, I was disappointed. I think because even though this movie was okay -- it could have been amazing. While I want to blame him, I'm not sure that it was Ratner's fault. He did the best he could with what he was given.

The whole thing was just too rushed. In many ways. The film itself was rushed into the theater. They should have taken a few more months to do a quality job. The special effects were uneven, and the reason was revealed in the credits. I'm not sure that I have ever seen that many different special effects companies in one credit crawl. Some were definitely better than others and it showed in the film. The story itself was also rushed. It needed another 20-30 minutes of character moments to make the story shine and it fill in several gaps in the narrative.

The script made several interesting choices. (I need to go look up the script writer and see if I have liked anything else he or she has written.) Some of those choices worked, some didn't. To preface the following, I'm a somewhat different viewer of X-Men. While I have much more familiarity with the X-Men storyline than the average moviegoer, I don't know more than that basics about the comics. I have been reading Whedon and Cassiday's Astonishing X-Men and I've read a few of the early comics, back when Jean, Scott, Iceman, Angel, and the Beast were the team. I wish that Angel had been in it more. His character seemed intriguing in the film and I was left wanting much more of his story. I hated what they did to Scott. It seemed cheap and like the studio just didn't want to pay James Marsden for more screen time. Where was the payoff?? The grief? It seemed very glossed over. Annoying. And then what happen with Xavier. . . did this happen in the comics?? Hated it. Which leads me to Logan. What?? Isn't he supposed to be the ultimate loner? I did love the story of his love for Jean and then his choice at the end, but why does he all of a sudden become a team player? I like him as the outsider. The tortured soul, longing for and yet rejecting connection. Great character. -- And then we get to Rogue. This was probably the bit that irritated me the most! Why, oh why? I realize that she, more than any other character, had good reason to take the cure. But, this was an terrible choice, especially for the future of the franchise. She is such a wonderful character and is now without angst. (And we all know, it's angst that drives the comic book/movie world!) :-) :-) I still think that the Rogue/Wolverine dynamic is the most interesting in the films. Anna Paquin and Hugh Jackman have great chemistry and I'm sorry to see this end. (Yes, I know, the age difference makes it a little creepy, but you can read their relationship as brother/sistery if you want to. I choose not to, but you can.) :-) I love a good May/December romance. Throw in a little superpowers/mutations and big fight scenes -- what's not to like?

Well - this was a few random thoughts about X3. Even though I hate the "reset button," I really hope they use it for X4. (Do we doubt there'll be an X4? I thought not.) Bring back Scott, Jean, and Rogue. (We already know that Prof. X is coming back...are we going to be subjected to another actor?? I hope not.) And give Logan somethin' to angst about. . . He's just so good at the snarly introspection.