Home

I've been thinking about the idea of "home" a lot lately. I have a deep desire to create and live in a home, not just a house. What makes the place you live a home? Something to come home to... I love the idea that I return home. Not just to my house.

There is something in me that wants to create a home for others. Not just myself. I lose motivation when it's just me. There is almost a, "What's the point?" attitude. And yet, at the same time, I love to live in a beautiful and welcoming space. A space that offers rest to both to myself and to others. I'm excited that my new roommates will soon move in. I think I'll have more motivation to keep up on the tidying up. :-) But more than that -- what are the intangibles of a home? It's more than just a neat living room and having the dishes done. In fact, I would argue that those things are the least of creating a home. For me, the thing I look forward to most in coming home is that it is restful and safe. I can relax and literally let down my hair. (The first things I do when I get in the front door are kick off my shoes and take the clip out of my hair.)

I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds a few weeks ago and Mandy Patinkin quoted a Mexican proverb, "The house does not rest upon the ground, but upon a woman." He was talking about the significant role that women play in the family in Mexican culture, but I haven't been able to get that phrase out of my head. Is creating a home primarily a feminine drive? I don't know. I've had several single male friends who've bought houses, settled in, decorated them, etc. They have tried to create a homey space for themselves. But do they have the drive to do so that women have? Guys? Thoughts?

I was thinking the other day about creating a home in terms of being single. I am expected to be both the homemaker and the breadwinner. It's a little tiring. I must say, I think that guys get a little break in this area. If they live on their own or with other guys, there really isn't an expectation that they will have a home-like space. White walls, ratty couches, a poster, and a TV are perfectly fine. If you walked into a single woman's home and saw the same...it would be strange. We are expected to have a put-together home and keep it up. Sometimes I joke at work that it would be nice to have a wife. While, of course, I'm joking -- there is something there. I am the breadwinner and no one takes care of my space. When we have a pot luck at work, my co-workers ask if I am going to make the homemade dip they love or if I am going to cook some other dish. The single guy who eats with us is expected to bring chips or pop. That's just a small example, but there's a pattern. I'm tired tonight and that is certainly affecting the direction of this post. I don't mean to be whiney; I guess I just wanted to vent a little.

Back to the idea of creating home. One of things that really drove my desire to buy a house was that I was really tired of moving. I wanted to put down roots and have the freedom to create the space I wanted. I certainly did that here! (Everything in my house is different...) This spring I've been working on the outside of my house, but it is all connected. I am so excited about my roses because they are beautiful and welcoming. I hope that they help create an atmosphere that is comfortable at my house. I hope to work on the back yard this summer also. I want to extend my living space out into the back yard. Maybe have a patio, climbing roses, lots of flowers and a table and chairs. I want to plant a butterfly garden and attract beautiful birds and insects. (But hopefully not too many mosquitoes!)

This post is getting long and I really didn't say what I wanted to say. I'm not quite sure where I was going with this, but maybe I'll have thoughts that are more clear later. I think there is something in my heart that responds to the story of Mary and Martha. I am so tempted to be Martha. But I want to create a home where people (myself included) are encouraged and given a space to be Mary. To rest and sit at the feet of Jesus. Hopefully we can put a pot of coffee on and sit there together.