Hello Again

Hi Everyone...

I know, it's been ages since I've written. For a long time, I just didn't feel like I had anything to say. Then, I wasn't sure how to say what I did have. :-) When I last wrote a real entry on this blog, I was definitely at a low point. I finished the school year feeling like I was drained completely dry. It's only been recently that I've begun to feel human again. I want to thank everyone who has been praying for me and listened to me. Thank you so much for being listeners and not advice givers. You have all given me so much grace to be where I am, instead of trying to make me feel better. That is such a rare gift.

That said, I think I'm emerging from the dark a little. God has been faithful through it all and even when I almost couldn't see him, he was there. As I look back, I see evidences of this along the way. Jesus has been with me and usually he has revealed himself through a friend. There are a few people that I want to thank especially -- Jessica (friend), Jessica (sister), Melody, Shelley, Precious, Mom, Amber, Davelyn, Aunt Susan and everyone else who has been loving up on me the past few months. A few days ago, a friend asked me if there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I told her, not yet...but I think I've traveled past the blast radius of the big explosion. :-) Maybe there's a glimmer ahead... I know that's all a little vague, but I didn't want to start posting on random stuff without letting you know how I am.

I am taking this summer off and, let me tell you, it feels a little weird. I'm not sure that I'm all that comfortable with not have a list of tasks. In fact, I think I enjoy having stuff to do. It's very weird. I thought I would love having a summer full of reading, sleeping, movies, and playing on the Internet. I think it's actually stressing me out a little to have nothing to do.

So, I've got a few projects. What is so restful about them is that there is no deadline. I have been organizing my library and if there are books on the floor for a few weeks...that's okay. My wonderful new roommate doesn't care! (Thanks, Alethea!) So, I've come to the conclusion that the most restful thing for me to have is a few projects, but no real pressure to finish them in a timely manner and no one who cares if they are perfect but me. I'm off to assemble my new bookcase! :-)